Know the Signs: Coercive Control in Everyday Life

When most people think of domestic abuse, they picture physical violence. But one of the most damaging and least recognized forms of abuse has nothing to do with hitting. It is called coercive control, and it affects lots of people right here in our communities.

Coercive control is a pattern of behavior an abusive partner uses to take away a person’s freedom and independence. It can include constant monitoring of a person’s phone, location, and daily activities; controlling all access to money; isolating someone from family and friends; dictating what a person wears, eats, or does; threatening children, pets, or immigration status; and relentless criticism designed to erode self-worth.

None of these behaviors leave a visible mark. But over time, they can be more devastating than a single act of physical violence, because they are designed to make a person feel that they have no choices left.

Why it matters

Survivors often tell us they did not realize what was happening to them was abuse. They may have felt confused, ashamed, or convinced that because they were never hit, their experience “didn’t count.” It does count. And it is against the values of every healthy relationship.

Recognizing coercive control is the first step toward getting help, and toward building communities where this kind of abuse is named, understood, and addressed.

What Wisconsin is doing about it

Advocates across Wisconsin are working to make coercive control visible in our laws, not just in our conversations. Jackie’s Law is a proposed piece of legislation that would formally recognize coercive control as a form of domestic abuse under Wisconsin statute, giving survivors stronger legal footing and giving courts a fuller picture of what abuse actually looks like.

You can learn more and add your voice at jackieslaw.org.

Rainbow House is here

If something in this article resonates with you, or with someone you care about, please reach out. Rainbow House provides confidential advocacy, safety planning, and support services to survivors in Marinette, Oconto, and Florence Counties. You do not have to have a bruise to deserve help.

Call: (715) 735-6656 Text: (906) 290-9081 24-hour confidential support

How to Get Help

If you or someone you know is experiencing unhealthy or abusive warning signs, reach out the the Rainbow House for free and confidential support 24/7 at (715) 735-6656

Rainbow House Agency Mission Statement

We believe: No one deserves to be abused be it emotionally, physically, financially, or sexually. Our prime service is the safety and empowerment of all victims and their children.  We Will: Provide prevention, education, and information to communities, families, and schools.